Ode To SpandexApril 14, 2008
Bottom line, triathlon is a weird sport. But just like any other sport, triathlon has its strange little quirks: men shaving their legs, eating tons of food in GU form, peeing on the bike, peeing in your wetsuit…
One of the things that I’ve managed to pick up over my three year old triathlon career, is the ridiculous amount of spandex needed to compete in this sport. Twenty year old me would probably make fun of the huge drawer I have filled with spandex (speedos, bike shorts, tri shorts, race tops), but somehow it has almost become a badge of honor.
And with that thought, as I sit here on the couch after a long trainer workout and a session in the weight room, I felt some creative juices flowing and decided to write you all a poem about that wonderful material that helps us all train and compete in this great sport. Please don’t confuse “creative juices” for anything relating to poetry skills, but either way, enjoy.
- Years ago, I would have never even dare
With all of this tight clothing that I choose to wear
- Demanding confidence in my sexuality,
Nothing to hide behind, a daily dose of reality.
- Bike shorts, speedos and tri tops, I own more than any man should.
Shorts over my running tights? You know I never would.
- Funny looks from strangers, smoking out on the street
Running by in tights, they try to catch a peek
- Always the perfect fit on the swim, bike or the run.
Love those thick tan lines, after long rides out in the sun
- Holding close in all the right places, even up my butt crack.
You keep my goodies in just the right place.
- Since no one deserves my junk all up in their face.