Dr. Strangeburning or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love MaloxMay 13, 2008
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Some days you just go along your normal routine, not expecting to have anything special happen, or learn anything new about yourself or anything else. Today was one of those days. Plain boring old Monday.
Woke up, went to work, went out for pizza and bowling with some coworkers (I rolled a 157 by the way, woohoo!) and went for a 4.5 mile run.
The run went pretty well. I had this weird tightness on the side of my calves, but that went away after about a mile or so, so I was happy. I was worried it was something worse, but I’m glad it was just some tightness from not stretching enough before.
I kept having some chest pain and just burping up some pizza, which was funny and made me feel better. Only it was less of a relief to the chest pain every time I burped. At about mile 4, it was totally unbearable. My throat was dry, my throat felt like it was closing, and my heart rate monitor strap felt like it it was strangling me. I thought that every smoker and truck that I ran by was breathing hot dry smoke directly into my chest. NOT a good time.
Thankfully I was only about 2 blocks from my house and stumbled home from there, giving blatantly dirty looks to every smoker I passed by and I felt like they were ALL out tonight. Every Single One.
After scrambling for my keys, stumbled up the three flights of stairs to my apartment and downed a glass of water. What I was hoping would be refreshing hurt like hell going down. Worst glass of water I’ve ever had in my life. PAIN. Then I turn around, run to the bathroom and say goodbye to every single piece of pizza that I stuffed my face with less than two hours ago.
Thankfully my personal nurse/girlfriend was awesome enough to run to understand my garbled commands for Malox from behind the bathroom door and ran to the store to get me the good stuff. I used to think that my stomach was a tank and that I could handle anything on a workout, but clearly after some some bowling alley pizza induced heart burn, that is not the case.
Stick to the hippie food. It never made me feel like death.